Well, it's Monday. Sunny, despite the forecast and dry, at least for the time being.

Last night was quite chilled - we seemed to spend a fair while looking for interesting iPhone apps. Well, free ones anyway as I won't spend any money until we have the phones in our hands! But have found a few games and some tools - a couple of Twitter apps to try as well. That said I quite like the funky Twitter app on my current phone, so I have a benchmark against which to test any new ones. We played hairdressers last night too. If I get a chance to snap a pic of the results I will do so and publish on here. It was a big session; trimming the tips of the Mohawk (or else it is too long and I end up with go-faster stripes on the ceiling of my car), shaving the non-Mohawk parts David's head, trying to coax the whole thing back into a straight line (after a few trims it can wander and looks more like a meandering river than a straight-cut stripe) and then going at it with the peroxide! David has naturally very dark hair so it usually takes two bleaches if we want to avoid a sort of apricot mid-stage. It is a complete kerfuffle but looks good when it is done. I was complacent this time though and missed the opportunity to press my groin against his elbow and ask, "Have you been on your holidays yet?" in appropriate hairdresser camp.

We had a take-away for dinner - I cook most days so it is a treat for me to not have to worry and it usually leaves enough for lunch the next day which saves too. On the way there, just as you have come off the estate, you drive up Littleton Road, quite a wide arterial road into Salford although not too busy out side of rush hour. They have, for the last three months, been putting in a pedestrian crossing - pelican variety. I have to laugh though. The beacons are not yet activated, so covered in black bags. Fair enough I guess. But the funny thing is that the actual crossing area - the zebra stripes, is fenced off so you can't use it. You can cross anywhere else on the road, unrestricted, running into whatever traffic you like, but NOT on the actual crossing. You can't see that well from the photo, but how mad is that? I guess, because the beacons are not working, if anyone crossed there and there was an accident, the council would be liable, so the very obvious crossing area, which is raised and for which you have to slow down in a car anyway, and even without the beacons is probably the safest crossing point on the road, is out of bounds! Ludicrous.

I recently had a fantastic reply to a complaint I sent to Sainsburys. I'm a bit of a pedant when it comes to language, and especially when used in TV advertising. I am usually pretty quick to spot advertising 'escape clauses' - where the claim they seem to be making is not actually what they are saying. I especially like "Nothing works faster than X" - so use NOTHING - it works faster than X and is a damn sight cheaper! Sainsburys recently ran an add for new potatoes which they said would be available for "a few short weeks". Well that was red rag to a bull and I sent emails off to their marketing department and the company responsible for the advert. All very tongue-in-cheek, but it made the point. My email and the reply below!

To whom it may concern, (and please pass this on to the relevant manager)

I write in reference to a Sainsbury’s TV ad campaign which is currently running in the North West UK region, and for which I believe you may be responsible.

I am confused. According to this current advertising campaign, Sainsbury’s have new potatoes available at their best for, "a few short weeks". This causes me some concern as I have always believed that the length of any given week is the same as all the others. In what way are you able to shorten these weeks? Can you please explain exactly which part of the week is being sacrificed? I hope the shrinkage is happening during the standard working week. I'm sure people would be most disgruntled if they found out that some of their weekend had been removed.

My initial thought was that maybe Sainsbury’s was in conspiracy with the Government; by reducing the length of a week one could naturally assume that this would also represent savings in many areas, such as fuel used for heating and lighting, hours worked by government bodies, the Police, and other Service agencies, however upon further reflection I feel that this would have an economically detrimental impact, with people having less time to spend money in the shops and consequently boost our country’s fortunes within world financial arenas.

My next concern was that maybe this was in some way linked with the current MP expenses debacle. Has Hazel Blears been stealing minutes from the usual 24/7 pattern, as well as fixing her expenses?

Of course, you may be suggesting Einstein's theory of relativity here, however that would imply that humankind is due to leave the Earth and travel faster than light speed, and indeed, upon our return to Earth it would appear that less time had passed for us than for the earth-bound Sainsbury's stores. However I suspect that the costs of achieving this would probably outweigh the savings on the odd bag of potatoes.

I am gratified to hear that this anomaly is only expect to last for a few of these shortened weeks, but please will you let me know if this is in fact planned to be an annual event, such as daylight saving times, and indeed whether Sainsbury’s plans to return the missing temporal quotient, perhaps during a few LONG weeks in the Winter?

Please can we have our old week-length back? I'm rather fond of it.


Dear Mr Perrett

Thanks for your email about our recent TV advert. I can understand your concern about the short weeks we mention.

I’d like to assure you that we are not part of a government conspiracy to reduce costs, nor are we helping MPs to claim time along with their expenses. If we were dabbling with Einstein’s theories, we certainly wouldn’t want to reduce the weekends because we know this wouldn’t be in anyone’s best interests.

As I’m sure you’re aware, time flies when you’re having fun. What you might not know is that time also flies when you’re growing new potatoes. This, of course, is to do with the perception of time passing and this was what we were referring to when we talked about the short weeks. Sadly, we don’t yet have the technology to alter actual time so you can rest assured that weeks will remain at the standard length of 7 days.

I’m grateful to you for making us aware of the confusion our advert caused and I hope you will enjoy our new potatoes during the few regular length weeks that they are at their best.


Yours sincerely

Jodi Hollingsworth

Executive Office